15 Things I Wish Someone Told Me About the 4th Trimester (aka Life with a Newborn)

It’s not all baby giggles and pastel onesies, folks.

So you’ve just had a baby? Congratulations! Welcome to the 4th trimester — the mysterious three-month stretch no one really warns you about. You survived pregnancy, you conquered labour (or at least made it through, however that looked), and now? Now you're on a hormonal rollercoaster wearing milk-stained pyjamas at 3pm wondering what day it is.

Here are 15 things I really wish someone had told me — preferably with a large coffee and a hug.

1. You will cry. A lot. At everything. A nappy advert? Tears. Someone asking how you are? Sobs. Dropping a biscuit on the floor? Catastrophic grief. It’s normal. Hormones are wild.

2. You will leak. From everywhere. Your boobs, your eyes, maybe even your bladder (cheers pelvic floor). Just accept it and buy extra absorbent everything. Including emotional support snacks.

3. Baby clothes have poppers designed by sadists. Why does a onesie have 15 poppers and why do none of them line up in the dark at 2am? We have AI now. Where’s the zip?

4. You’ll become obsessed with poop. Frequency, colour, texture, volume… you’ll become a nappy sommelier. And yes, you’ll send photos of poo to other adults.

5. “Sleep when the baby sleeps” is a myth told by people who’ve never met your laundry pile. Or your partner. Or your other child. Or your overachieving inner critic. Just do what you can and rest when you actually get the chance. No guilt.

6. You will feel like a milky vending machine. Whether you’re breastfeeding, bottle feeding, or combo feeding, feeding a baby feels constant. Also, cluster feeding is code for “you’re not allowed to sit down without being sucked on for 6 hours.”

7. People will say weird things. Like “enjoy every moment” while your nipple is being used as a teething toy. Smile politely. You may now ignore them.

8. Baby groups are like awkward blind dates. Everyone’s pretending they’re fine while trying not to fall asleep mid-"Wind the Bobbin Up." But you might just meet a lifelong mate — or at least someone who brings cake.

9. Your body is still doing big things. Post-birth healing is no joke. Stitches, sweats, tummy like a deflated balloon — it’s all part of the process. Be gentle with yourself. That body just made a human!

10. The baby might hate the expensive bassinet and only sleep on you. And you’ll consider selling your soul for a full night’s sleep. It's fine. You'll sleep again… one day.

11. Your brain may feel like mashed potato. You might forget words. Entire conversations. Where you put your phone (hint: it’s under the pile of clothes you still haven't had time to put away yet, from like last week). It’s called mum brain. It’s real. And kind of hilarious.

12. Going anywhere is like a military operation. Leaving the house with a baby takes three bags, snacks, and 45 minutes of negotiations. But when you do make it out, it feels like winning the Olympics.

13. You might feel lonely, even when you’re never alone. That’s the kicker. All the love, all the noise… and sometimes, all the isolation. It’s OK. Reach out. Others get it — even if they’re also crying into their lukewarm tea.

14. Every decision feels MASSIVE. Dummy or no dummy? Sling or pram? Organic muslin or supermarket wipe? You’re doing your best — and that’s more than enough.

15. You’re doing great. Really. Even when it feels like chaos. Especially then. You’re keeping a tiny human alive and learning on the job. You’re not just a parent — you’re a superhero in yoga pants.

Final thoughts? The 4th trimester is a wild ride. It’s overwhelming, hilarious, magical, and utterly exhausting. But you don’t have to “cherish every moment.” Just be in it — the good, the ugly, the “why is there porridge in my hair?”

You’ve got this.

And if you ever need someone to bring biscuits and hold the baby while you shower? Text me or join us in class, we literally have showers too!